Sacred Mouth (Sacre Bleu)

Yep... So I'm stuck at home and I'm trying to study, right? In the midst of all this knowledge-feeding I read something that made me laugh steadily for about 4 minutes, then got me all freaked out of my socks. Okay okay get this:

Opiophobia -
Fear medical doctors experience of prescribing needed pain medications for patients.

"Hahahahaha!!... Wait a SECOND: what the hell, how come... how is it.... is it curabl... what?"
I know, that's what I said too. Dude, I have this thing about doctors...


The Breakdown:
It all started with me going to the dentist for the first time when I was 7 years-old (I'm sure my parents brought me down there before but I don't remember any of it). The dentist's name was Denis.

"Hi, my name is Denis!"
Yep, his name was Denis, he was wearing these huge ass Harry Potter*/John Lennon glasses, had long black hair gelled in a slick ponytail, nice white robe. Now that I think of it, he looked like a scarecrow. Not gonna lie and don't want to be mean, I'm sure he's somewhere in the world curing teeth but Denis was and might still be a scary-looking man. Anywho, I was young and easily impressed... I thought he was hot. I definitely remember some grinning on my part.

"Hi, douctour!" (douctour means doctor when you're 7 and have pronunciation issues)
He held my hand and we entered his working office. I was happy, I was naive, I knew nothing.

"Why don't you sit on the leather chair?"
I sat on the leather chair, looking around and absorbing this new environment. Lights everywhere, funny-looking tools beside me. I was in heaven.

"Okay, open your mouth"
I was about to, the will was there, but then I realized he was holding these two evil-looking shiny sticks that looked like knives, ready to use them for whatever purpose. Turns out Denis had a mouth mirror and spatula in his hands but it didn't matter then.
I cried for a long time...


Now now, I don't tear up anymore when I go to the dentist but still, this traumatic experience got me all doctor-nervous. It's no fun... and from now on, everytime I have a medical appointment, there'll be this little voice at the back of my head making sure I know my doctor might be opiophobic.

Let's hope I don't get a serious cold or chicken pox or something. I have this thing about doctors.

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*I realize I've made reference to Harry Potter twice in less than a week. It must and will stop, no worries.
** Fuck Octranspo drivers. Cabs are EXPENSIVE. The end.